Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Different Colored Rain Clouds

The week of Thanksgiving. My kids and I have been talking every night at dinner about what we are thankful for. And there is so much. Our lists are always interesting and at times comical... vacation days, stuffed tigers, Minecraft, Minecraft, Minecraft, playdough, cousins, dolls, Minnie the cat and smelly blankets. My children bring such joy. This life however is full of much more than thankfulness. Coming from the infamous City of Destruction we shuffle forward. I think the holidays are wonderful reminders to be thankful and joyous. But they are also stressful reminders that there is much we haven't attained, much we carry sorrows for and much we cannot throw off on our own. Walking out of the city takes time, lots of effort and more bravery than we often attribute to it. The phrase of "When it rains it pours" is comical to me. I wonder sometimes if it quit raining? Doesn't it just shift to different colored clouds? It's certainly always something. And sometimes it just requires a cry, a pout and a horrible awful ugly mood. I know, I've been in one all morning long. I do believe though that while sufferings can last our whole lives, those horrible awful ugly moods don't have to. At some point today I will choose to be thankful again. I will choose to breathe and remember that these troubles are just in par with where I am and the many hills of difficulty. They are but a momentary discomfort. When I gave birth to my babies I was always so surprised at how quickly the exact details of how bad the birthing was faded. I hope someday that the troubles I've seen, the struggles I have now are but as faded. So if you are in the same Thanksgiving week slump that I am, have a momentary cry with me and then we'll keep on our journey. 

Dark Corner
His hands round my neck. Being strangled was always terrifying. It brought out animal like clawing and squirming, sweating and gasping. My eyes would get hard like rocks and unable to see. My mouth would feel like a hundred cotton balls were crammed in. And at some point I would give up and sink into the dark. 

If you are being harmed please get help. It is not easy. But life isn't easy. you can do this. The holiday seasons exemplify suffering. And most likely your abuser hurts you out of his/her own suffering. This puts you at great risk during the holidays. I know. Please take a moment, have a cry if you need but find help. 

*I made reference above to John Bunyan's "The Pilgrim's Progress". My favorite reminder to keep on. 

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